Panedhiel’s Weblog

An Ode to Sonnets

By Me

O, sonnet, you were given to us as a long term assignment
You laid in wait for a week, just dreaming of the time
when you knew that I’d have to interpret your rhyme
O, dear Mr. Wood, would you release me from this confinement

Of having to analyze some strange, annoying, and weird
Goddamn pesky poem? 14 lines! A couplet! And 3 quatraines!
So, so many words, they be hurting my brains!
I may be up til early morn, I’m afeared.

So now, to work! Hand this in late…don’t dare do it!
Back, Facebook! Back YouTube! And back AIM!
To these wonderfully distracting sites I will not give in!
I declare, I will now get some writing done, I swear it!

Psh. Yeah right. Why let it be otherwise construed?
Ah, fuck it. Just fuck it. Let’s face it: I’m screwed.

My list of under and overrated things!  It’s good to be back!

UNDERRATED

Joe Biden

Poor Joe has been absent from exposure ever since he made some memorable gaffes that could have cost his presidential running mate the election, but that’s okay. He’s VP-elect now, so it’s all good. The only one of the four election stars who hasn’t gotten due SNL credit, Biden is actually a pretty interesting character to watch. Sure, he likes to drop eyeball-rolling-worthy anecdotes and in the words of Sarah Palin, “gosh darn it” he says the “darndest” things, but he’s a pretty earnest guy and an interesting one to watch. It’ll be fun to see him in action with Obama once they get into office.

Kristen Wiig

Absolutely my FAVORITE acress on SNL.  Recently, Tina Fey has (deservedly so) been getting a lot of press for her portrayal of VP candidate Sarah Palin (did SNL really influence the election?) and Amy Pohler, resident neswmistress and Hilary Clinton double, has been widely publicized because of her pregancy and subsequent exit from the show after seven years.  Wiig is one of the most underappreciated actreeses on SNL today.  She portrays some of the most ridiculous characters, including a gum-chomping, high-maintainence trophy wife, an everyday mother who is prone to anxiety attacks at the mere mention of a surprise, and, most recently, a sexy secretary who unknowingly turns off every male in her office after a few stints with a banana, a pink pen, and an operatic rendition of the Happy Birthday song.  Love her.

Matches

With the advent of the small, handheld gas lighter in the 1950’s, matches have sunk to the level of obscurity; they are almost never utilized unless the lighter is out of fluid.  People seem to forget that there is nothing quite so satisfying as striking a match and seeing the small, orange flame at the end burst into life as if by magic.  Use matches to light candles, a fireplace full of logs, houses, or small children on fire!  Matches are fun!

Rahm Emanuel

Obama entered the first few days after winning the election with a bang. He chose former Clinton white house staffer and Chicago congressman Rahm Emanuel to be his chief of staff. A pretty bold choice, according to most political pundits, because Emanuel is considered incredibly partisan, incredibly in-your-face, and swears like a sailor. I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this guy! Apparently he’s the fourth highest-ranking member of the House and has been making his mark ever since the Clinton era. It kind of helps that he’s cute too. he has a little John Slattery thing going for him. Plus he has a really fascinating back story. He used to be a ballerina, he got his middle finger hacked off while working with a meat grinder at Applebee’s, he bransishes kitchen knives at political opponents…seriously, why isn’t this guy as much of a rock star as Obama? But just you wait, people are already bracing themselves for chief of staff Emanuel, and I’m sure he’ll be running a very tight ship in an Obama administration and will be making waves soon.

OVERRATED

Twilight

I know I should give this movie a chance before I even write it off, but you know what? It’s lame. There, I said it. All the teenybopper fanatics can comment negatively all they like, but it doesn’t change the fact that this movie (and the books they are based on) are totally, completely not even worth the buzz. I read the first of  the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer, and no, they are not akin to J K Rowling’s books. They aren’t even remotely on the same par. A more appropriate comparison would be Judy Blume or freakin’ Francine Pascal, not J K Rowling. I mean, come on. If I could insert an eye-rolling smiley in here, I would. The book itself is cheesy, reads like a teenage girl’s fetishist diary (which let’s admit, it really is) and it’s not even trying to do anything different about vampires at all, even though it is mainly a story about vampires.  It is a trashy romance novel MINUS the sex, which is the only reason trashy romance novels are worth reading in the first place.  As for the movie, it had shown some promise early on with the casting of Kristin Stewart as the movie heroine Bella. I’m not a fan of Stewart, because I think she tries a little too hard to reiterate that she’s a serious actress, and she’s also kind of annoyingly one-note. Notice that most of her roles tend to be that of angst-ridden, whiny teenagers [see: Panic Room, Into the Wild, In the Land of Women].  The addition of Twilight to her list of accomplishments doesn’t exactly thrill me, as you can see. But Stewart is a rarity when it comes to finding actual teenage actresses who don’t go the Lindsay Lohan/Hayden Panettiere route in show business, so that’s why I thought her being cast in Twilight was a good thing. Unfortunately, it didn’t help when I saw the rest of the cast.  Most of the cast were pretty obnoxious and self-absorbed, especially Cam Gigandet and Robert Pattinson. They didn’t even pretend not to enjoy the pathetic adoration of their prepubescent fans wailing and screeching for autographs. So there. Twilight. MAJORLY OVERRATED.

Uggs

WHY HAVEN’T THEY GONE AWAY!?!?! Uggs were bad enough for the first 3 years they pervaded the halls of the American high school, and now that it is winter, there has been absolutely NO decrease in the omnipotence of these hideous sheepskin nightmares.  People ADMIT that they are ugly and still wear them.  Uggs will be one of those things that future generations will look back on and go “what were they THINKING?, not unlike disco, perms, and 80’s synth-pop.

Sarah Palin

Thank goodness she went back to Alaska. I’m happy I won’t have to entertain the notion of her being anywhere near the nuclear buttons anytime soon, but apparently America’s favorite hockey mom is planning to run in 2012. I guess the Mayans were on to something when they predicted that the end of the world would be in 2012. I was skeptical about this end of the world business, but who knew the Mayans foresaw Sarah Palin? Anyone who thinks she hasn’t been the most overexposed, most talked about, clearly over-covered politician ever is out of their mind. More articles have been written about her than Barack Obama, I believe. More articles have been written about her than have probably ever been written about John McCain, and HE was on the top of the ticket! This lady was everywhere this past election, and I am so ready to put Bible Spice (credit due to Alec Baldwin for dropping the nickname) to rest. Goodbye, Sarah Palin. You were fun to watch, but you’re a nut, and you need some help.

field hockey preseason. Thats why I haven’t written in a good five days.

Preseason has been interesting this year…I’m finally a senior, so there are certain perks that come with that. I am guaranteed a spot on the varsity team (seniors are not allowed to play JV), so during the first 3 days of this week, during which the actual “tryouts” for JV and varsity took place, the coach had no reason to be closely observing me…a definite relief. However, there are pressures that have increased because of my seniority; for example, I have to be an “example” for the younger girls on the team, and I also sort of always have to play well. As evidenced by Coach Fishwick’s scream session at me today. Fish is the queen of ultimatums: “[with increasing volume every word] Do that one more time, Ellen, and you are off! If you do that ever again, you will not ever see time on this field all season!!!” Oops. I guess I did something wrong.

Anyways, I have this afternoon and weekend off, and I am really excited for the break. I’m also going up to Mount Gretna (near Lebanon, Pennsylvania) for the annual art show there. It’s a big frickin’ deal…check it out!

Happy weekend!

-Panedhiel

The US Women's team after qualilfying for the 2008 Olympics

So, for only the second time since women’s field hockey named an Olympic sport in 1980, the US Women’s field hockey team has made it to the big games! They just barely missed making the Sydney Olympics in 2000, and came even closer in 2004, missing the Athens Olympics by a loss to Argentina in the Olympic trial finals. This year, however, in a stunning display of athleticism and calm under extreme pressure, the women’s team rallied in the finals and made the Beijing Olympics! Unfortunately, the men’s national team didn’t make the Olympics this year (and never has). Because of the strange phenomenon that is United States sports (case in point: American football and real football) women’s field hockey has taken much deeper root in the United States than men’s field hockey; in every other country in the world, men’s field hockey is far more popular than womens’. Because of this, men’s field hockey has never become established in the international field hockey spectrum. Which is a shame, because guys who play field hockey tend to be extraordinarily attractive.

10 of the 16 players on the US team roster are from Pennsylvania. The northeastern region of the United States is the most competitive and intense in the country. Most nationally and internationally ranked players come from the Northeast, and, within that region, Pennsylvania, Maryland, New Jersey, and New York are the most competitive states. Virginia is the exception to the “Northeast rule”–the national traning center is in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Hence, quite a few good players hail from the Virginia area.

Hardcorest FH goalie in the world. Literally.

My personal favorite player on this year’s Olympic team is goalkeeper Amy Tran. She is currently ranked No. 1 goalkeeper in the world. She defies any and all stereotypes that goalkeepers are the “chunky” players who don’t feel like running. She is probably faster and more agile than any of the players out there on the field. Plus she is hard frickin’ core-dreadlocks down to the small of her back and lip, ear, and eyebrow piercings. Fantastic.

At 6:30 this morning, the US team took on Argentina in the first round of the 2008 Olympics. They pulled through with a tie: 2-2. This was FANTASTIC news for the team; Argentina, who is ranked No. 2 in the world in women’s field hockey, defeated them 4-2 in the finals of the 2007 Pan American Games…the US team must have come back with a vengeance! The U.S. team fell behind, 2-0, just 10 minutes 46 seconds into the game. Then Keli Smith (University of Maryland grad) scored a goal midway through the first half. Angela Loy (Virginia Beach/ODU) scored the tying goal late in the second half. This goal was absolutely textbook: a teammate took a drive purposely wide of the goal from the top of the circle with just 5 minutes to go, and Loy was right there for a quick deflection straight into the right corner of the goal. The goalie never had a chance.

The team faces Japan on Thursday (no doubt the footage will be aired at about 3 in the morning-not very many people care to watch field hockey). Thank God for DVR. Japan’s hockey team defeated the good old US of A in the Olympic Trials a few months ago…here’s hoping that our ladies can pull through once again.

-Panedhiel

Hello all!  Welcome to my weblog!

This is my second attempt at keeping a blog-my Blogger site died about 3 years ago after just two posts (the first was a welcome just like this one, the second was a review of the film King Kong.)  I never wrote again, and my two posts sunk into the dark, bottomless annals of teh intarwebz.

This time’ll be different.  I hope to at least maintain this blog…make it a place where I can blow off some steam during senior year, talk about just about anything…well, we’ll see how it goes.  I was inspired to start this blog by my good friends who write for and maintain a website and podcast called ElCycle (check it out, it’s awesome!).  I was going to write a few articles for their website, but then I thought to myself, “Why not just start your own blog?” and here I am!  Who knows, a podcast may be soon to come!

Later!

-Panedheil